>12 Feb 2005 by chelle (recovered post)
This is my open letter to my Mother who passed away suddenly on Sunday October 17,2004.
I was thrilled to see you this past summer and I was happy to know that you were coming to spend an entire month with me. I was happy to know that we could really talk to each other and I was able to tell you thank you from the bottom of my heart for the way in which you raised me. I am a well rounded young woman with my head firmly planted on my shoulder and I sure could not have done this without you. You see, because of your selfless dedication to my education, I am able to learn, grasp, and comprehend things with speed and ease. I was able to attend college and get two degrees in the face of much hardness and even though my adversaries said I couldn’t do it, I accomplished the unthinkable and all thanks goes to you.
I am most happy that you were able to come see what my home looked like and meet Pappi. You don’t know this Mom, but I needed your approval since I would never want to dissapoint you with the way I lead my life. I am truly sorry for all the hurt, pain and anguish I have caused you and though I never knew what they were, there were times when I could rightly guess that I had done something to hurt you. Thank you for the goodness you instilled in me and for the opportunity to spread my wings and fly when I was sixteen. I could tell my leaving troubled you very much but because you wanted the very best for me, you never let me know your true feelings. I just want you know that my leaving was not for me, it was for you. I have always known that you have given up everything for me and leaving was my way of giving you back time to do the things you always wanted to do. I know when I explained this to you you understood and forgave me. I thank you for that Mom. Thank you for loving and respecting Pappi and I am glad that you could see for yourself the kind of person he is and that I was telling the truth about our relationship. We are still together and I know that would have made you very happy. We remember like it was yesterday, your stern but loving warning you gave to us on the day you were leaving for home. We are keeping our word to you.
I know you would have been thrilled with the funeral I was able to give you. I even took care of all the unfinished business you left behind and I know that you would have been proud of me for doing that. Everything is being taken care of and I promise to never abuse your legacy to me. I know that I am your only child and I mean the world to you and for me that is more than I can ask for. I promise to never let you down. Heaven knows I miss you terribly. Thank you for the smiles and laughter you left behind for me. Rest in peace.